There were many times in my life when I felt guilty for all of the habits I currently indulge in. Sex, drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, etc. I try to practice a lifestyle that reflects my belief systems. I practice yoga, I meditate, I paint, write, and walk. So where do I find the balance between these two parts of my life?
Last night, admittedly under the influence, I was talking with a dear friend of mine who shares similar beliefs. I was telling her that I felt the need to do a cleanse. A deep cleanse, one that eliminates all of my addictions. She, coincidentally, shares the same addictions as I, and she seemed pretty open to the idea too.
When making the decision to cut out all of your favorite social and habitual activities it's relieving to have someone willing to do it with you. So, celibacy and abstaining from drugs and alcohol it is. Practicing yoga and meditating more to overcompensate for how my body will react to this extreme change.
Though we agreed to only do the cleanse for 2 weeks, most of me wants to do it longer. Like, a year? There are many fears that accompany making a decision like this. The idea of not necessarily liking yourself sober or finding someone during this year vow of celibacy that I just can't resist...amongst other reasons.
But, I am feeling strength from a place that puts all those fears to rest. I am feeling like I can do this and learn much about myself in the process. Moving across the country and starting a new life is a huge undertaking that I need a clear head and rationality to pursue. This is the time.
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